The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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