I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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