I wanna bring you to show and tell
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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