she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
