It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
