are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
