rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
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