You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
