I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
