Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
