about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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