They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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