If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
