so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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