I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
