Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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