Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
