Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
