I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
