you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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