Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
