then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
