No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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