I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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