I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
from now on my penis is your penis
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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