So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
