I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
