break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
