are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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