I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
