whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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