it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
