If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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