I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
we're so committed to being not committed
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
