oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't deserve a penis
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
