I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
