Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
