btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
