Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
