Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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