don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
