I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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