he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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