I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
