im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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