my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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