Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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