...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
they're like a gay fantastic four
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
