So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
