I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
