She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
