its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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