he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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